tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy

ALL DEVATIONS WILL EITHER BE PUT IN SCRAPS OR DELETED STARTING TODAY

PROFILE WILL BE UNDER CONSTRUCTION FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE




^{*Journal skin was created for tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy by Crystal-Moore!
Divider and pixels are from pixelsgalore.tumblr.com!}

WILL BE BACK AS SOON AS THEY ARE RESOLVED.

YOU GUYS GET AN EXTRA WEEK OR TWO.


I WILL HAVE THE OC'S I'M GOING TO BE GIVING UP FOR ADOPTION POSTED AT THAT TIME.




^{*Journal skin was created for tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy by Crystal-Moore!
Divider and pixels are from pixelsgalore.tumblr.com!}

Okay, so...

I know I haven't been on at all the past few months.

Mostly that's because I now have a lot of things going on in my real life and I don't have the same amount of time.


Another reason is that I just... haven't really wanted to get on.

Part of that is because of obligations I took on that I can no longer handle, another part is just guilt on my side that I don't upload enough or talk to as many people people as I should.


So, I'm going to be deleting everything from this account to start over again.


Yes, you heard that right.


Over the next few days I'll be deleting everything I've ever uploaded and posted.


I do feel bad about this, but it's necessary for me to move on and let my account evolve with me.


So, I'll be starting this weekend with the deleting.

I'll also be unfollowing everyone I currently follow. I'll be re-following if I feel I should or can, but if you want me to follow you again you'll need to tell me beforehand. Otherwise, you will not be re-followed.


Please pm me before this weekend to let me know, as I will also be deleting all my pm's after this weekend.


I hope you guys will continue to support me through this overhaul, and know that I love all of you who have supported and encouraged me up to this point in my life.


I'll see you guys again next week~


OH ALSO

If you want to keep any of the pictures or stories on my account, download or save them before this weekend as after that they will be gone!




^{*Journal skin was created for tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy by Crystal-Moore!
Divider and pixels are from pixelsgalore.tumblr.com!}

In case you hadn't noticed


I'm truly sorry I haven't been online, you guys are such good friends and it's my fault I've been gone.

But for the last two-three months I've actually been in physical therapy! Now, I'm sure some of you are going, "OH MY GOD, TINK! What did you do?!?!"

Nothing, actually.

I have a lot of medical problems, just one of them being my musculoskeletal system. I'm in physical therapy because I'm unable to stand for more than an hour or two without intense pain in my back. It's a problem I've had for years, and it's only recently I've been able to get help for it.


Now, it's not just that that I've been working on...

I'm applying for culinary school!!

It's something I've been wanting to do for many, many years. But it's only in the past year that I realized it's actually something I could and would love to do.

I'm also applying for a couple jobs, and it's taking up quite a bit of my time.


So, yeah. I've been doing a lot!

My life has been taking a turn for the better, and for the moment it just seems to be taking me away from this place. I've been drawing, though, and I promise I'll upload some stuff!


Love and miss you guys,
Tinkr <3




^{*Journal skin was created for tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy by Crystal-Moore!
Divider and pixels are from pixelsgalore.tumblr.com!}

In a way, being 'insane' was a blessing in disguise for someone like me.

I wasn't aware half the time, at least of the reality of the situation.

Sure, I was completely paranoid and my anger was legendary and sure I was kinda crap at everything but...

At least I could make and keep friends.


I was blissfully unaware of the things I did, so my confidence was through the roof, even though in reality my insecurities had insecurities.

But now I am aware.


And because of that, I can't be the happy-go-lucky, carefree girl I was in high school. I don't know how to be.


So, I'm crap at making and keeping friends.


---


I'm still paranoid.

I don't think that'll ever really go away, because paranoia isn't just something you can make 'go away'.

Sure, I'm a lot less paranoid now that I'm somewhat sane and stable, but it's never going to be the same.

My time as someone insane killed the person I might have been had my therapists and family caught it early on.


---


My entire life I've fought with myself, my image, my personality, who I am. I have, and it's not fun. I've changed myself a million times over just to be able to fit into a niche.

And right when I think I've finally hit that magical formula... I find out that I'm a completely different person than who I thought I was.


Over two years later and I'm still dealing with the psychological after-effects of living without medication half my life.

It's not fun. It's not cool or the new in thing. It's not something I would wish on my worst enemy.


Okay, maybe it is, but you don't know the hell my worst enemies put me through.


And now... Now I've lost the girl I thought was going to be a friend for life. I don't know what to do about it, either. It hurts.

It hurts like hell.


So, I've retreated to someplace even further than the internet.

My mind.


I've been spending my time learning new skills, doing new projects, following passions I've had for years and just never had a chance to pursue.

And I think it's killing me.




^{*Journal skin was created for tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy by Crystal-Moore!
Divider and pixels are from pixelsgalore.tumblr.com!}